Grief Unveiled by Nannen Sarah;

Author:Nannen, Sarah; [Sarah Nannen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Morgan James Publishing
Published: 2018-08-15T00:00:00+00:00

BOUNDARIES

There will likely be times when thoughtless comments and unwelcome counsel leaves you feeling irresponsible, incapable, and irrational in your journey through grief. There may even be moments when others demonstrate somewhat aggressively the urgency they feel to save you from yourself. There will be some expecting you to sooner or later get over it so you can go back to being the normal you they remember you being. There will be some well-intentioned people whose interpretation of your relationship becomes vastly more emotionally intimate than it ever was prior to your grief. Your desire to maintain boundaries that feel safe and true to you is always yours to choose, regardless of how others interpret their realities.

Most of these people will believe they know what’s best for you, even more than you do and they’ll be bound and determined to either fix you or help you save yourself from your grief. These people will come in all forms: family, friends, medical professionals, clergy. Even strangers will want to weigh in on what’s right for you, often explaining their sister’s brother’s veterinarian’s loss and somehow relating it to yours, if only to offer solidarity in that they know how you feel. It is deeply important to remember that of these people, not one of them has ever been you. They have never lived, let alone grieved deeply, inside the unique circumstances that make up the reality of life as you know it.

Remember that in every case, you get to choose whose advice and insights you listen to. You get to choose whose energies and beliefs you receive and retain. You get to choose who you say yes to. You always get to decline a gesture offered in support that lands with unintended pain. You are allowed to practice saying No, thank you, guilt-free. You can ignore their stories and suggestions completely. You decide what you keep. You determine the boundaries and teach people how they’re allowed to interact with you in a way that feels safe and is actually supportive and decline the rest.

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